Sunday, 6 December 2009

TRUST


Trust

Like most of my articles, I get inspiration for the general theme from either something that has happened to me recently, or in the past. Something I’ve read about, something I’ve questioned, or even something that a friend may have mentioned in passing.

This week is no different, and it was on our weekly journey south, for another night of training, that my great friend Mick told me about a tough day’s training he’d had on the mat with another of our friends, Brian.

It reminded me of the countless times I had been in a position of vulnerability as a student with my long time instructor Geoff. Struggling to free myself from another of his elbow snapping arm-bars or closing my eyes and regulating what was left of the breath in my body as he squeezed out the last of my oxygen reserves in a classic choke hold.

Trust me, if you’ve ever been in such a position where the only option left for you is to tap and submit before everything goes dark, you’ll know how vulnerable, and totally at someone else’s mercy you are.

I’ve been fortunate and unfortunate, depending on how you look at it, to have been on the delivering end of similar chokes and strangles when working the doors of Coventry for many years and knowing that ow the life of a complete stranger lies, quite literally, in your hands, is a very sobering thought.

From many many hours on the mat, I know there is now way I would willingly put myself in the same vulnerable positions with a complete stranger off the street as I would with my training partners, students and instructors. Why? Obviously because I have complete Trust in them, as I hope that they do with me.


I posted on my facebook profile a questioning status of TRUST IS... and received many fine responses from my friends. Alot of which surrounded the martial arts, as you might expect and all eluding to the same thing
The trust we have when we are training with someone who is in a controlling and winning position. The trust we place upon them to be fair, to be respectful, to be compassionate, to be gentle and dare I say, to be loving in the lesson they provide.

My instructor Terry talks about loving as an instructor, and I think this has been another inspiration for this particular article of mine. For, as an instructor, it is the love of the arts and the love of teaching, the love of passing on the truth as I see it and the love of seeing my students progress that spurs me on to be the best instructor I can be.

But all this Love will be wasted if Trust is missing.

The trust a student places in a teacher will directly reflect how much they will learn. This is a trust that must be nurtured and cherished, for just as I put my life in my strangle holding partners hands for a brief moment in time, so a student places their entire education, learning, growth and direction in their instructors hands for a lifetime.
What a teacher says to a child can stay with that child forever, and as a martial arts instructor, what I pass on to my students in their very first lesson can shape their impression of me, the arts and it’s place in their lives forever.

For any teacher, this is a very powerful position to be in and also a fantastic opportunity to help guide and direct students towards whatever it is they wish to achieve.

It’s been said that Trust can take 20 years to build and 5 minutes to knock down, and it is this juxtaposition of great power and fragility that I see Trust as one of the most important attributes an instructor must give to all students and conversely, students to their teacher.

A trust of a student means they must always receive the truth, in the form of honest training from solid foundations. If we talk Physical Self Protection then the techniques taught must be tried and tested, they must work and must not be created simply to bolster a small syllabus.
If it is the arts that are being taught then they must also be taught correctly, with integrity and accredited to those who have invested their lives before us to develop and evolve them.
If it is personal growth then an instructor must teach with empathy, compassion and with love to build a trust that will allow the student to go forward with courage born from faith that their teacher has given them the right lessons and the right instruction.

So yes

Trust Is when you know your partner will release the moment you tap out.
Trust Is when you turn up to your first class, knowing nothing and placing your future in the hands of your instructor.

So I guess my message this week is a simple one.

Who trusts you?


George MacDonald said
“To be trusted is a greater compliment that to be loved”


What I love the most about this whole process is that it also works in reverse.

For me, personally, I would say I learn as much from my students as I do my teachers. Everyone has something to teach, and who better to learn off than my students whose trust I have built up and honoured.

TS Elliot says
“Those who trust us, educate us”

So finally I say

Who trusts you and what can they teach you?


Thank you for reading

Stay Safe, and Have Fun

Al x


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